Saturday, January 23, 2010

Stuff I say

While I draft a few new essays, here are some random ramblings from the week, from my mouth to the ears of my son and husband. (Neither seems to have much of a talent for retention. I might as well keep a record somewhere.) I don't provide context, but not much is needed in most cases.

To husband: Don't worry. I don't even like my OWN ass right now.

To son: Quick, get your camera.

To husband: I don't care whose barf it is; I just don't want to step in it again.

To husband: No; I really love those videos. I meant to subscribe. Yeah. The one with the two old guys together.

To son: Of course the spider is still alive. I'm sure Dad missed.*

To son: Good! You're supposed to freaking poop in the bathroom! Get out here before another twenty minutes is up or no Bakugan!

To son: Grab YOUR camera.

To husband: I'm not sure about that one. Hand me the good guide. No, the good one. With the vinegaroon on the front.

To husband: Hang on; let me see if the pee smell gets stronger over there.

To son: Because I'm using my camera, that's why.

To husband: Because I AM smarter.

To husband: (In front of an open window and a neighbor): No; I really don't think it would bother me. I wouldn't even notice I was nude after a few days.

To son: I don't know where fresh batteries are for your camera. Maybe you shouldn't wear them out following the cats to the litter.

To son: If you want to go outside, you'd better do it while it's still raining.

To husband: Feet. Feet are way worse than crotch.

To son: No, I don't know where your (interminably long and convoluted) Quidditch board game could be. We'll have to play something else; gosh darn it.*

To husband: Oh, good. X-Men is on.

To son: Fine! I'll drop everything I'm doing and come look at your game. It'd better not just be R2 falling off a ledge! I've seen that a million times!

To husband, seconds later: Fricking R2. Fricking game.

To son: Fine. You can use my camera. Just give it back before the sunset.

*Factual accuracy not guaranteed.


ck said... Best Blogger Tips

"I don't care whose barf it is; I just don't want to step in it again."

Amen, sister.

Dawn said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes... keep a record somewhere!

Dawn said... Best Blogger Tips

I forgot to mention that so many of these made me smile! :)

Jill said... Best Blogger Tips

I wear my batteries out on the dogs all the time...what does that say about me?

Mama Cas said... Best Blogger Tips

My 2 older ones are boys...and they love their collection of nerf guns...and they love to share those guns with their sisters. So in my house, it's quite common to hear me saying:

"No guns at the table while we're eating!"

Or: "DO NOT shoot your brother in the face!"

Or: "You guys need to get in here and pick up your bullets."