Year in half-assed review

Apparently it's the time of year when we all unofficially agree to do "Year in Review" posts. So my supreme wisdom of this year is...

Wait. Screw that. I didn't learn jack this year. I'm still doing all the same stuff as this time last year, most of it a little better, some of it not nearly as well, and all of it with much less money and security. So here's a random list of things I learned (because screw editing and rearranging; that's why).

In 2009, I learned

...how to spot a pretty good read, and that my reading taste of old? It was pretty horrible, in some cases. (What the hell, ten-years-ago self?)

...that the exact details of a family's life rarely have much to do with how happy the family is. Deciding to be happy is corny, but it works.

...that my mom rocks, even a little more than I knew she did this time last year.

...how to take better pictures, and teach my son the same.

...that mint truffle Hershey's Kisses will be the death of me. But it'll be a good way to go.

...that my husband will always surpass me in technical mastery of the camera, but is likely to never EVER listen to me about scouting good light. (Any of y'all want to tell him like it's not my idea? That might work.)

...that there are still some damn stupid people in this world. A whole heck of a lot stupider than me. (Stupider than a goldfish, for that matter.)

...that none of them will listen to me, regardless of how loudly or eloquently I opine.

...that there are still some damn good people in this world. A heck of a lot better than me.

...which online postings are likely to spark debate, and not to update my status with anything particularly inflammatory if I can't afford to be distracted for the next ten hours.

...that mysterious smells in the kitchen are never a good thing.

...that mysterious smells that smell like something melting are even less of a good thing, and only idiots ignore them.

...that I'm an idiot.

...how to make eight batches of cookies and a amateur but good batch of cornbread in record time, while dressing myself, talking on the phone, and forcing my son into clothes -- and that food does indeed impress my in-laws. (Good call, self.)

...how to live with freaking no money.

...how to take steps toward actually earning some money.

...that, in a marriage, absolving each other of the need to successfully "hit on" the other one works wonders.

...how to teach my son to be both proud and humble.

...that we might need to work a little more on that latter part.

...that I will never, ever get more than ten seconds to myself between the hours of 7 a.m. and 9 p.m.

...that, on the rare occasions that I do, I'm crazy and get all Hey! What's wrong? Don't you want to play together?

...how to be a better wife.

...how to be a better mother.

...how to be a better person.

...how to get my husband to finally remember the symbols for male and female. (Hint: It has to do with a ridiculously immature mnemonic device involving the shapes and what happens to males' male parts.)

...that our carpet is a great color for hiding cat puke stains.

...how to host a boys' sleepover without going insane. (Hint: It involves equal parts vigilance and selective ignoring.)

...that if you propose something, and your partner says Hey; that's a great idea. Where did you get that from? and the answer is a previous romantic partner, you should keep that part to yourself.

...that I suck at keeping anything to myself.

...that the previous point is likely to make this list way too long, so I should probably wrap it up here.

Happy season, everyone. Enjoy the rest of this year.