Never forget ... to live

Confession: I forgot Sunday was 9/11.

OK. I didn't totally forget. I wrote a short post Friday about it, though to be fair, that post is mostly links to incredible works others have produced. I didn't forget. It's part of our identity now.

I got up this morning, though, thinking about life. And not even in a 9/11 or patriotic way, either. Just plain, happy, sunshine-on-my-face, broken-down-swingset-in-the-backyard-with-my-son, big-misshapen-blueberry-pancakes kind of happy. I think this is the right way to go.

"Never forget" always seemed a little odd to me. I know it's our way of honoring the victims and heroes of that day. I know it's about going back, at least once a year, to the day where the very worst brought our our very best. I know it means "Never become complacent," but somehow, I don't see that happening.

"Never forget" is superfluous, in a way. How could we ever forget? And it always looks like an admonition to keep the tragedy alive, to keep the deaths alive. I don't want to do that. I want to keep their lives alive.

It's not just 9/11. I don't remember the day my dad died. I never do. But I celebrate his birthday every year, in some way. I'm positive that's how he'd have wanted it.

"Remembering is all I can do," I overheard someone saying during a conversation this weekend. But, I wanted to say, it's NOT all you can do.

You're not powerless. You can make new memories. You can live more. You can love harder. And you probably are. You get credit for living. You should feel immensely empowered for that. That is doing something. It's not running away from 9/11. It's not forgetting.

I'm the very last person you want to go to for 9/11 expertise, so really, go elsewhere. But if you really want to know my opinion, I think we should add "to live" to our commemorative motto.

Never forget to live.

Maybe it's a reminder to me more than anyone. Because I sometimes do forget.

So I'm going to be sure, today and this week, to go on living. I'll post a "Monday goodies" tomorrow (someone please help me think of a better title for that feature) -- vultures. Which are all about life and beauty, despite what you may have heard. And today, I'll go back outside with my son and squeeze my oversized ass onto the undesized swing set seat once again. I'll hike and photograph and try not to get ant-bitten like yesterday. I'll help my kid bake some brownies.

I'll look east (if I can remember which direction that is) and yes, I will remember. There's a 9/11-shaped hole in my heart too. But I'll go on. Death will have the very last word, after all. I want to have as much to say on the side of life while I'm able.

Friday 5: 9/11

I'm writing another "Friday 5," but as I completed the story about accidentally pushing my mom off a cliff at Canyon Lake, it occurred to me that this might not be the week for it. Instead, here are a few really good things about 9/11 I've read or watched recently. Antidotes to it, really. They lean Arizona-ward, coverage-wise, but no matter where you're from, please do share others in the comments. The more we read and learn about each other's experiences -- any experiences, really -- the further away from terror we are.

1. Arizona teacher's life forever changed by 9/11

The local-guy angle, but as they all are, so much more. He lost someone. He comforted and was comforted. He sat, surrounded by thousands of raised voices, at the first World Series ever played in the state of Arizona, a short while later. Arizona won, but that was secondary. The soul of America, as he says, came out then. This guy is good people.

2. The Second Day

A few years ago, Brook Peters decided he would make a film about September 11 and its aftermath to give voice to a group of people no one had heard from much. He started filming his documentary, and managed to gain national and international coverage.

And then he turned 12.

He's 14 now, and this guy is pretty amazing. You can watch the whole film for $3.99, but you definitely should at least watch the trailer.

3. Surviving the Fall

If you haven't read "The Falling Man," Tom Junod's piece for Esquire, you should. The Falling Man. You know the photo. In the first essay, he tells about the search for the man. In "Surviving," he puts him to rest, in a way. Difficult, intimate and well done.

4. The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship

Phyllis Rodriguez and Aicha el-Wafi are both mothers who have lost sons. Rodriguez lost her son in the World Trade Center attacks; el-Wafi's son was involved in the attacks and is currently serving a life sentence. They are friends. I really don't know how they do it -- either of them. This is amazing. They are amazing. Watch.

5. Gilbert, and "Mesa - the day before the 9/11 attack"

Please, especially if you're in the area, do read about and think about attending some of the memorial activities. Gilbert's Week of Tribute is wrapping up, concluding a week of activities to memorialize and commemorate not only those directly involved in 9/11, but all of our ties to community and family. There's a great "Preserving Family" event Saturday at the Gilbert Riparian Preserve (as long as it doesn't rain), with family activities galore, which I'll be trying to make. I've heard on good authority that solar telescopes might be out for public use too. Also, they'll have donuts!

Check here for more activities, and mostly, just have a good weekend with your family.

Also, Mesa. In Mesa, like everywhere, the world didn't stop spinning on 9/11. Stuff -- little and big -- didn't stop happening. It just seemed that way. Good story.

OK, so I guess I sneaked in an extra one there. I like these, though. Check 'em out if you haven't. Let me know what inspires you. And have a good weekend.