My son tells me that it's fine. He loves weeds. He blows dandelions, harvests aphid-encrusted weed flower bouquets, and immerses himself head-high in the things. Which is fine, if you're eight.
If I could, I would agree with him. Weeds weren't always bad, anyway. Etymologically, "weed" comes from the Old English for "grass" or "herb," but during the Middle Ages the meaning changed to mean plants that grew tenaciously where they weren't wanted, especially among agricultural plots. They became the grasses and herbs that hung on, unwanted, the plants that stuck around instead of what growers decided should be there.
It's the same with my writing. I polish. I practice. I agonize. But no matter how much mental weed spray I use, I don't think like most people (a fact of which I would remain blissfully ignorant, if not for the thousands of times per day my husband looks askance at me).
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A few weeks ago, I decided to pull the weeds. I waddled and crouched in my yard all day, feverishly pulling, yanking, piling. I still have the blisters. I culled about two thirds of the waist- to shoulder-high (or head-high if you're eight) weeds.
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I wrote something years ago, shortly after my son began exploring the world. I had been afraid motherhood would be boring, uniform, manicured, like a bland lawn. It wasn't. It turned out to be better, worse, weirder, and more exciting than I had expected. At the time, I said of my son and myself: "We tend the wild weeds in each other."
I've left the rest of our weeds where they are. The birds visit constantly. The ladybugs (I had carefully picked around the nymphs in the first place) have hatched.
Weeds are not a crop (even though several are great to eat). Still, they have utility of a different kind. They're our ladybug nursery. Birds make use of them for food and shelter. We wish on them. Who wishes on a rose?
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Weeds have some of the most widely heralded virtues. They are specifically adapted to thrive where destruction has occurred. They take root when nothing else can. They can even help depleted soil, bringing rich nutrients up from deeper layers and into decimated topsoil. They restore eroded soil. The stuff covering our yard, something from the mustard family, is fiercely competitive and protects itself with saw edges of teeth along its leaves. You can't help but respect the stuff. It's edible, apparently, but packs quite a punch. Our crop of it appeared almost overnight, transforming our yard from a brownish expanse into a rich green sea.
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I think my favorite thing that weeds do naturally is something Tom French, one of my MFA mentors and all-around amazing guy, had to remind me a kadrillion times to do: They keep going. As any frustrated gardener can attest, weeds spread with abandon; easily, randomly, wildly.
According to Ralph Waldo Emerson, a weed "is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered."
There's a lot of discovery potential around here.
I'm still watching my ideas float around, and they're still taking root in a thousand different places. Maybe I'll let them grow. Weeds, after all, can make great companion plants to "good" plants, helping them thrive during dry spells.
Weeds have strong roots, after all. And if the light hits them just right, they light up like nothing can.
5 comments:
I am sooooooo done with the suck voice.
It's one thing to say that you suck at something, but you're writing a beautiful essay here, and we're loving it, and you tell us you are writing (poorly). Parens or not, we suddenly think: well, what the fuck is wrong with us that we're liking this drivel!?
You have to pretend you love it. Look at all those beefy chicks who walk down the street in flattering clothing with their heads held high, looking like all that, and it works because she has that confidence.
Confess to your friends that you're a fraud, but we all know you're not. You were accepted into the most wonderful MFA programs in the country. As I said at my goodbye speech: you know you can't suck because look around you! All these people are AMAZING and they're in your program with you! You can't be the only one who sucks! They didn't make the mistake with YOU.
Know what I'm saying?
But we have especially our weediness in common. We are both messy and scattered, and we get to our subjects and our morals in roundabout ways, but it's beautiful to work with us and reach, breathless, the finish line. We reward our readers with such an amazing answer, an we got to show some sights along that way that no other writers would have thought to point out.
I deleted the "(poorly)" and the "no one wants these things" line because of you just now. Thank you. I totally know what you're saying.
What a lovely diverse blog! I think human beings are weeds really! We've taken root, we're clinging on tenaciously, and we grow where we're not wanted. Hopefully we wont be eradicated!
I thought of this post this morning when I walked my 3-year-old to preschool and saw dandelion fluffs just waiting to be blown.
Wow i got a request from your husband on facebook my first thoughts when i saw the request was how supportive your husband seems as i voted for one of your pictures somewhere along the line too coz of him. But i started reading (just after weeding myself) and i loved it from the weeding to the fangirl come mother alot like me to the weeds and the lady bugs to the things that as an adult we look at and miss the magic that the kidlets can see and we forgot all about ...To the many ideas (weeds) you have. I cant wait to read more of your stuff. I hope you get to live your dreams your a very talented lady thank you for sharing
From your newest fan
Lisa
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