Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Status

I was telling my mom last night that she should get an account on Facebook to keep up with my siblings and me. She doesn't have an Internet connection at home (can you really live that way?), so she declined for now. But it occurred to me -- I'm careful enough with what I throw out to the online ether in case a potential editor or employer looks me up, but what if my mom did get a Facebook account?

I decided to speculate --

This week's status updates, if my mom became my Facebook friend:

Kimberly called that financial institution that keeps calling her mom's number, and it turns out they were just calling to say what a responsible, model borrower she is.

Kimberly is replying to all her e-mail in a timely manner, especially e-mails from her mom.

Kimberly never speeds.

Kimberly is meticulously balancing her checkbook, just like she does each and every week.

Kimberly is going to bed at a decent hour each night, and rising with the sun each morning.

Kimberly is totally not wasting time online. In fact, this is the only time she's been online all day. She's going offline now to get big-time important grownup stuff done.

Kimberly hardly ever has Diet Coke for breakfast.

Kimberly's bank account is thriving and she doesn't ever dread checking the balance, despite what anyone may have heard.

Kimberly's son listens to her and minds absolutely all the time, as she has developed a consistent system of discipline thanks to her own upbringing.

Kimberly is putting work before play, and not deluding herself that play is work.

Kimberly is going to the doctor regularly for checkups.

Kimberly is not writing this update to procrastinate real work. On the contrary, all her work is already finished, well ahead of schedule.

Kimberly is not cracking her knuckles.

Kimberly's backyard is in pristine condition, thanks to the hard work she puts into it each and every morning.

Kimberly loves getting phone calls from her mom.

Kimberly is being honest with that last one.

5 comments:

Jill said... Best Blogger Tips

Both of my parents have Facebook. My dad never checks his account and my mom rarely ever checks hers. I don't think she notices much when she does check it. She did "like" one of my statuses once, and that both terrified and surprised me. I'm very careful of what I post anyhow because I have been known to cause alarm in the family via my cousin, my brother, or my brother's girlfriend who all have facebook and see my status regularly. Even a joke can turn into my brother calling my mom at work in the middle of the day to make sure everything is okay! Notice, he never asks me personally...

heather said... Best Blogger Tips

Yeah, I've wondered the same thing if my Mom got on Facebook. But I know THAT will never happen!

AutumnFawn said... Best Blogger Tips

Hello--stumbled upon your blog--beautiful pictures (except for the black widow) :) Also living in AZ, I see too many of those spiders!!! Had one in my house the first year we lived here--ew!

Marjorie said... Best Blogger Tips

Love the FB posts for mom - don't think I'll ever have to worry about that! But my father in-law is there. I think it's funny, though.
New to your blog - beautiful photos and writing :)

Kim Hosey said... Best Blogger Tips

Jill: Yeah; I'm pretty careful about everything that I write already. It's strange, really -- just knowing my family's reading it weirds me out, even when I know they'll like it. I get all nervous when my husband reads what I write about him. I don't know. I'm weird.

Heather: I've read that a few times, and I chuckle every time at the thought of her on Facebook. Mike and Colleen told me how she was just with a cell phone.

Brandi and Marjorie: Thanks for the visit and kind words; I look forward to seeing more of both of you! [Heads off to check out your blogs.]