I was telling my mom last night that she should get an account on Facebook to keep up with my siblings and me. She doesn't have an Internet connection at home (can you really live that way?), so she declined for now. But it occurred to me -- I'm careful enough with what I throw out to the online ether in case a potential editor or employer looks me up, but what if my mom did get a Facebook account?
I decided to speculate --
This week's status updates, if my mom became my Facebook friend:
Kimberly called that financial institution that keeps calling her mom's number, and it turns out they were just calling to say what a responsible, model borrower she is.
Kimberly is replying to all her e-mail in a timely manner, especially e-mails from her mom.
Kimberly never speeds.
Kimberly is meticulously balancing her checkbook, just like she does each and every week.
Kimberly is going to bed at a decent hour each night, and rising with the sun each morning.
Kimberly is totally not wasting time online. In fact, this is the only time she's been online all day. She's going offline now to get big-time important grownup stuff done.
Kimberly hardly ever has Diet Coke for breakfast.
Kimberly's bank account is thriving and she doesn't ever dread checking the balance, despite what anyone may have heard.
Kimberly's son listens to her and minds absolutely all the time, as she has developed a consistent system of discipline thanks to her own upbringing.
Kimberly is putting work before play, and not deluding herself that play is work.
Kimberly is going to the doctor regularly for checkups.
Kimberly is not writing this update to procrastinate real work. On the contrary, all her work is already finished, well ahead of schedule.
Kimberly is not cracking her knuckles.
Kimberly's backyard is in pristine condition, thanks to the hard work she puts into it each and every morning.
Kimberly loves getting phone calls from her mom.
Kimberly is being honest with that last one.