Wednesday, April 9, 2008

He cannot tell a lie

This afternoon, as I was supposed to be working:

(Video game noises emanate from the living room. I hear the someone-drowning sound effect.)
David: Argh! SpongeBob! I hate when you do that!
(Same sound effect, moments later.)
David: SpongeBob! Quit it right now!
(Same sound effect.)
David: Stupid freak SpongeBob! Stupidstupidstupid. Stooooooopid!
(Same sound effect.)
David: Grrr! (Really. "Grrr." As in, "Frosted Flakes! They're Grrreat!") Grrr, SpongeBob! Why do you keep doing that?

Me (after mumbling a few verboten words myself, wrapping up with "just want five freakin' minutes"): David! Why don't you put that down and come back to it some other time, when you can enjoy it.
Him: I am enjoying it! (Throws murderous glares toward the television.)
Me: You don't look like you're enjoying it.
Him: Well, I am. SpongeBob just keeps being stupid.
Me: Why don't you just play it later? Maybe practice that part.
Him: SpongeBob is just stupid right there!
Me: You know SpongeBob isn't real.
Him: Well, he's stupid anyway.
Me: I think you've said that word enough.
Him: No!
Me: Excuse me?
Him: SpongeBob made me. He made me say stupid. And freak. And he makes me want to keep saying it. Stupid! Stupid! Freak! Stupid! Freak! Freak! Freak! stupidfreakstupidfreakstupidstupid!
Me (Later, as a teary, but much calmed face turns to emerge from the corner): Do you know why you were in the corner?
Him: Because I said words I shouldn't. And because I acted like a baby about the game.
Me: Good. Are you going to do it again?
Him: Probably.


heather said... Best Blogger Tips

Spooky, sounds like something I heard his grandfather say many moons ago................

dirt said... Best Blogger Tips

Hilarious! Your son brightens my days, you know.

Kim Hosey said... Best Blogger Tips

Heather: I think it runs in the family. Dan said remarkably similar things several moons ago.

Me (After fighting): If I let you up, are you gonna hit me again?
Him: Maybe!

At least the Hosey men have a legacy of honesty. They might not always be agreeable. But they're honest.

Brother Numpsie said... Best Blogger Tips

lol! Kim, your son is hilarious. :)

Mary said... Best Blogger Tips

So, I sent my MS to the printer yesterday. Is yours done? Hope to hear from you soon.

Kim Hosey said... Best Blogger Tips

Yeah; I'm sending my MS to the printer tomorrow, hopefully. It's nice to be wrapping it up, isn't it?

dogfaceboy said... Best Blogger Tips

Congrats to all you manuscript finishers! Yea! This is so exciting for you.

Don't let it stop there. Write a bitchin' query the day after you graduate. Send it to an agent you think will fit you. Email the query and ask if you can send a sample.

You worked your butts off for this. Don't stop now.