Talk about teaching your son to be compassionate, my friend said recently.
But we don't teach him anything, I replied. We just ... do it.
Well, then talk about that.
That conversation was a few weeks ago, but I never did think of what to say along the lines of "How to teach kindness to kids" or "Nurturing a Nurturer" (the working title I'd made up in my head). I still don't know. I guess that's why I can't blog about it. We really don't talk about it. We just DO it. My son rescues every trapped critter he encounters. He takes it personally if someone is mean to someone ELSE at school. He cries at the news, sometimes.
I just wrote a story (not out yet) about a guy who just up and did, and then did some more, and then he went further still, and was upset he couldn't do more. He didn't really think about it. Didn't talk about it. Certainly didn't blog about it sanctimoniously. Just did it. He probably wouldn't even recognize himself in that description other than that it was me who interviewed him. That's how little he deliberates.
My job is writing, so I guess telling and talking IS part of what I do, but I'm afraid that's all I have to offer on how to teach kindness. Be kind. Be there.
I have other stuff coming, but that's more important, even if it's been said before and even if I can't say it eloquently. Be there.
7 comments:
You said it eloquently. Never apologize for writing the way you write. We all think it's lovely, and it insults us if we think our taste sucks. We get to decide. :-)
I stand admonished. And thanks. :-)
so true! Very well said!
Writing about your son is perfect. It speaks volumes, to use a cliche.
There was a story on the news last night about a soldier who was blinded in the war on terror and what bothered him most was that he couldn't serve his country anymore. He was introduced to a program where disabled veterans can volunteer helping other veterans and citizens, so he's white water rafting...blind. I think it's a therapy thing for veterans that he's helping with?
My parents are a little baffled, too. They don't know how I came to be so passionate about animal rights (they love animals, too, but never thought to go vegetarian, look at all labels for cruelty-free, etc.) It's not just animals, either. I'm passionate about rights all over. I think some people are just increasingly sensitive. This could be good or bad.
As usual, I say too much in a comment.
Dawn: Thank you. :-)
Jill: Exactly. Feel free to say as much as you want. You've put precisely how I, and especially/increasingly my son, feel. I guess it can manifest in any number of ways, but if compassion is only reserved for a select few, it doesn't really seem like compassion anymore, does it?
Chris: Thanks!
I wish that just doing it was just as easy as telling someone to just do it.
so what you are saying is, lead by example. And I couldn't have said it better.
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